"Blogging Breast Cancer" in MAMM magazine

Blogging Breast Cancer by Sherry Baker is an article in this month's issue of MAMM magazine.

A portion of my Public Face versus Private Face blog post is quoted in the article. The article excerpts from this this passage:

I do struggle with the question "How are you?" I haven't found a consistent answer yet:

"So far so good."

"I feel fine."

"Prognosis is excellent but there is no cure, you know."

"I appear to be cancer free."


To me, it is quite the paradox that I've let my fears and emotional ups and downs show more here - on this very public place!- than in daily conversation. But at this point if I'm out socializing or at a meeting, my cancer is old news (please God let it stay that way).



If you are thinking about starting a breast cancer blog, the article contains some solid tips. It also explores the sociological aspects of blogging, which continue to fascinate me. Definitely worth a look.


I started blogging on such a whim. It was the night after my first chemo treatment & I couldn't sleep. I was wired (from the steroids that I had to take with the chemo), but was physically exhausted. It was the perfect project for the moment. For a while, I wasn't sure if I liked blogging. It took some time for me to figure out my own style and comfort zone. I was tempted to hit "delete this blog" a number of times. I'm pretty much over that now :)

Race for the Cure

Our local Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure is only a couple of weeks away. I am so excited. This is the third year that I've participated, and the second time that I've been a Team Captain.

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The 2006 race was a watershed event in my cancer journey. I was only two months out from my diagnosis. I had endured one chemo treatment. Because I was unsure how much energy I would have, I only signed up to do the one mile walk. Here is an excerpt from my May 5 2006 post:

Last Friday night, I had my head shaved. Saturday was one of the best days of my life. WHAT? How could this be, you might ask.

Well, on Saturday morning we went to the Susan Komen Race for the Cure. The weather was perfect, and we were quite a large party: my family of six, three survivors from my support groups and their families, and one additional dear friend who came out to support her breast cancer buds.

It was my "coming out" party for being bald. What better venue? I was in lots of good company! And, as a survivor, you receive the royal treatment. You have a bright pink race shirt and hat to differentiate you from the crowd (and quite a crowd it was -9000 participants).

The highlight was a Survivor Procession: you line up behind a sign that groups the women by # of survival years. So my group was "-1" but the groupings went all the way up to "25+" and we all did a little parade / rally to Melissa Etheridge's "Run for Life" song.

Then one of the girls from my support group invited us back to her house for a party. All in all, it was a very empowering, FUN day.

My Mom and me in 2006.

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By 2007 I was feeling pretty good about my life again. All of my treatments were behind me, and all that I had left to do was schedule a final reconstruction surgery (expanders out, implants in). I did that the Monday following the race, so that I wouldn't be sore for Race Day.

I signed up as a Team Captain. It was a cool, rainy day and my emotions got the better of me at the end:

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So here we are in 2008. I have a bigger team and more donations this year. I'm super-excited for the race. And I'm hoping that it will work its magic on me again this year. Cancer continues to wreak havoc upon my loved ones; people that I care about are coping with Stage IV. Fear resides in my heart more often than I like to admit.

Breast cancer is a sneaky, crappy disease. It is biopsies, scans, chemotherapy, surgery, radiation, and a lot of wondering whether or not the treatments are working.

But Race Day is empowering. It offers hope, enthusiasm, and support. It is a day when breast cancer can comfortably commingle with cheering, singing, and celebrating. Bring it on...

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Useful Links:


Susan G. Komen NC Triad Race for the Cure

Find a Race for the Cure Near You

Passing It On

Recently, Deena was kind enough to bestow this blog award on me. After thinking about it a bit, I've decided to pass it on to two of my friends whose blogs are outside of the breast cancer arena:

Andrea

Shelly (Cameron's Mom)

If I could have a big wish, I'd wish for a cure for breast cancer. Heck, I'd wish for a way to prevent it. But if I could have a little wish, I'd wish that more of my IRL friends would blog. Especially those of you who live so faaaaaarrrrr away...The award goes out to you, too.

Komen in the Triad

For those of you in the Triad, our local Komen affiliate has launched a new blog.

Race day is coming!! I can't wait.


Edited to add that the race will be on Saturday May 3, 2008 in Winston-Salem, NC. Go to Komen's Triad Affiliate Web Site for details. I will be doing a more detailed post about the race later.

Art Doll Squares

I sent Monica two squares for the art doll. She has graciously pledged to use at least one square from each submitting artist.

Here are mine:







In the first square, I wanted to represent female beauty post-surgery. I had a bilateral mastectomy and my ovaries removed, so that is what I cross-stitched into the design.

I even put in my still-annoying port-a-cath scar :)

I'm not sure what is floating through the woman's body in the second design: healthy cells? bubbles? dreams of breasts that are now gone?

A bit about the technique: I used grey wool felt. You don't have to sew the edges of felt, and I love its texture. I chose grey because the breast cancer journey is filled with decisions that are made in shades of grey.

I used fabric paints and markers for the design. The only sewing that was involved was the cross-stitch.


Monica continues to post updates on her lovely Girl Gone Thread Wild blog. It is so exciting to watch this project develop.

The Pink Artist: A Community Art Doll Project

Monica Magness, owner of the Girl Gone Thread Wild blog has initiated a Community Art Doll Project.

Each artist will contribute a 2" fabric square. The squares will be put together as one art doll. Go check out Monica's blog to participate or to find out all of the exciting plans that she has for this art doll (including donating the proceeds to Susan G. Komen for the Cure). But you'll have to hurry. Squares must be mailed to Monica by March 1.


Check out the parade of squares to see some that have already been sent in. I just signed up today to do a square. Mine will be humble in comparison to the ones that she has featured on her blog, but (shrug) I have thought up a design that means a lot to me so I'm in!

Once I get it done, I'll post a picture.

Thank you, Deena, for making me aware of this project.

All Is Well

My breast surgeon guarantees me that the little bump near my port-a-cath scar is not a tumor. That it is likely to be an undissolved stitch although scar tissue would also be a possibility.

Why would I suddenly feel it now? Perhaps because the rest of the area has softened and resolved enough to allow me to feel it. I did figure out, through endlessly prodding said lump over the weekend, that it can be flattened out. And that was a bit reassuring.

"But can't we just take it out? Biopsy it?" My pleas were ineffective.

No.

And he really did use the word guarantee. In addition, he assured me that he doesn't use that word lightly.

I have had complete confidence in him so far and his reputation is stellar. So I will go with the guarantee in spite of the fact that, I do NOT (and will not) watch-and-see. Ever.


I don't like the downward spiral that I went on over this. I'm not sure if I think that I acted like a baby, or if it was a reasonable fear. People live with recurrence, and I all but crumbled with the fear of recurrence. I think that I was done in by having two "what-ifs" in one month.

Conclusion: I still have lessons to learn.